Its no secret to anyone who knows me even a little bit that I am wholly right-brained. I sense emotion in technicolor and am very connected to energy. That’s what makes me highly creative and it’s why I always see the poignancy. The left side of my brain is puny and full of cob webs, however, and I can’t remember dates without alarms to remind me and numbers are like foreign objects. It is why my desk is a mess and I remember faces and not names, why I am always struggling to be more structured. I can do repetitive brain tasks based on rules when I have to, but that kind of focus is forced and always makes me feel very frustrated and sad. Some people find comfort in methodology, but it literally makes me feel like I’m dying. When head chatter is silent and I am in the moment, *all in*, the intimacy I quietly experience with the universe easily moves me to tears, not of sadness, but more like a heavy, low vibration of sheer joy, intensely exhilarating and beautiful. My own hands feel delicate and potent, and I want to paint and write and capture the hum so that others can hear it, too. Because it is the hum of all of us.
I think the right/left brain concept is so well illustrated by a left-brained scientist who had never experienced the state so familiar to artists and poets. In this video, she explains what it felt like when she had a stroke and lost most of the function of her left brain<. She was so moved being in her right brain experience that she sobs and explains it as a miracle. The world really isn't a safe place to feel so intensely, so right-brainers spend our lives trying to dull our emotions with will or with chemicals, trying again and again to learn algebra, trying to fit into linear time. When she is talking about being in the moment and experiencing everything as energy and pure emotion, that is how I feel when I am absolutely healthy and connected, and free. It's like a simmer of love bubbling over, and you can feel the fragility and courage of all the human condition. The only other way I have seen my essence illustrated in way that made me say "YES YES, it is like that", is in the movie American Beauty when that boy next door is crying over a video of a plastic bag blowing in the wind. lol
Here are a few left-brain/right brain tests, but I don’t know if they are accurate.
Hemispheric Dominance Inventory Test