Are the forums on down for anyone other than me? They started out being really slow to load with tons of bad data the last few weeks, but now after the upgrade the tables are so corrupted all I get is a blank page most of the time. And the helpdesk is also broken, as is the link to chat. I see the Board finally posted a financial report from last year.  From last Feb, membership support is down by a huge percentage…. my math is bad… it was over $4000 a month when I was ousted, and now its like $600 a month. So what’s that? Support is down by like 600%?


Sad. And kinda frustrating when I see people having problems that I cannot fix because I have no access to the backend. I doubt I could even answer tech questions without causing all kinds of uproar over there.



  1. daraqw

    Odd. At 5 p.m. Eastern, you can see posts if you are not logged in, but once logged in, the only thing you get is “ is in maintenance mode. We will be back soon” Methinks someone has locked the door on purpose today.

  2. ursy_ten

    I’m not surprised that support is down. is a lot lot quieter than it used to be, and it’s sad. Personally I think there’s a big heart-shaped hole there that you used to occupy, and it’s just not the same (and geez I hate sounding like a suck-up but that’s really how I feel about it).

    Oh, and I get the maintenance message too…

  3. dolphyngyrl

    Well, no doubt funding is down. Personally, I’m hardly ever there except to check for messages and the local forum. Otherwise, I just get so frustrated by the people who start inflammatory threads and then act like that’s not what they meant, and everyone is so sensitive about every little thing since the whole “blow up” that you can’t even call them out on it.

    Frankly, I don’t want to be somewhere that I have to spend so much energy minding my p’s and q’s so that I can respond in a thread about “are you sure you haven’t just found the right man?”

    And everything else seems more than a little cliquey to me.


    It was such a big part, for me, of “growing up” and growing into myself, and making friends and finding community.

  4. alphawolf0713

    I agree…i’ve always been on and off with b-f for about 10 years, but after the fiasco is the first time I haven’t renewed OR renewed the 6 gift subscriptions I had for family members.

    It’s always been ‘cliquey’, thats the nature of a social site, but in the past year its been either all about the drama, of one sort or another, and its just not the same.
    I doubt $600 a month would pay the bills…

  5. kyssme

    after i read this post … i went back to look. to be honest, i went to look and smirk.

    once upon a time, it was good. very good. it hasn’t been that for quite a while. the powers that be no longer care like they (YOU) once did.

    i’ll bet you all the loose change at the bottom of my purse that this little technical issue is followed up by a huge push to raise money for the site in order to “fix” the problem.

    no amount of money is ever gonna make people- the BoT or the members- give a shit anymore.

    the that i joined almost 10 years ago has been perverted into something i no longer recognize.

    it’s a little sad … but change in all things is inevitable. it is what it is.

  6. marshaslave

    I agree. Although I have only been on B-F for about 4 years, I’ve seen a lot of changes during that time. Like so many others, I didn’t renew my membership.

    I suspect a lot of people started asking themselves the same question I’ve been asking for the past few years… where *does* all that subscription/Bash money go? And when people don’t get a straightforward, prompt answer, they take their money elsewhere.

    Maybe I should think about hosting a leather Butch-Femme meet and greet at South Plains next year….

  7. femgyrl

    It is all very sad…
    More sad for you because it was built with your heart and soul…
    I don’t go to and haven’t for years but I’m sorry that you have to continue to feel the heartbreak over and over again.

  8. apocalipstic63

    Yeah, its been slower and slower and it’s too frustrating to fool with usually. I tried to keep the faith, hoping things would get better, but I am too busy with other stuff to deal.

    They did however, debit my bank account for registration and I am not sure how to keep that from happening next time.

    It’s really very sad.

  9. daddyrhon

    Yes! I meant to host a BF dinner at SPLF this past year, but never got around to gelling the thing. Too many immediate distractions in my life lately. Please do, Marsha, and I will help in any way I can.

  10. mmmicx13

    you go to your paypal account and have the subscription canceled so that they cannot do an auto debit each year if you want to cancel the membership. It will send you an email that makes you think you canceled what you have currently but it isn’t canceling the current one – just stopping renewals.

    Rhon, B-F loads for me but it is slow. I rarely go there like many others on here have said too. It isn’t YOUR House anymore so not really a place for me to go. I had problems with a lot of the site before the break up so I don’t miss it that much. I luckily connected with you and others here and have been happy with the sites I frequent nowadays.

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